Tools of the trade

You could call Jason Hooper a “wood Samaritan.”

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You could call Jason Hooper a “wood Samaritan.”

He’s been donating his time, and his lathe, to making Woodies, the wooden phalluses used by Sexual Education Resource Centre (SERC) to demonstrate correct condom usage. Woodies are used in sexual education workshops and are included in reproductive health kits that are shipped across the province.

In the past, SERC had connections with condom manufacturers and suppliers that provided the demonstration tools. But over the past year, there has been a Woody shortage.

And so, in the spring, the organization put a call out to local woodworkers in its newsletter and Hooper, uh, rose to the occasion.

“I described it to somebody as the silliest and most serious project I’ve ever had to work on,” says Hooper who, when not making wooden wieners, is the executive director of the West End Cultural Centre.

He’s made 20 Woodies for SERC so far, with a goal of making 40 in total.

MIKE DEAL / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS

Jason Hooper, left, with 20 different Woodies he’s made for Gillian Roy and the Sexual Education Resource Centre.

People may have vivid sex-ed memories of this particular demonstration being done on a banana — which is totally fine, by the way.

“We often provide suggestions to people of anything they could use to practise if they don’t have their own personal tool to use,” says Gillian Roy, co-executive director of SERC.

“But (Woodies) are long-lasting. They can travel. We can ship them. People can keep them. They’re reusable. They don’t spoil, like fruits and vegetables. So there is that practical piece.”

As well, Woodies more closely resemble the things you’d actually put a condom on.

Hooper has been SERC’s primary hookup for Woodies these days, though the organization also received a few from the school of art at the University of Manitoba.

“They were very artistic, elaborate — more sculptures than the sort of demonstration tools we were after,” Roy says. “They’re beautiful, though.”

Hooper got into woodworking in 2019. He started with an Adirondack chair, “which is definitely way above my pay grade,” he says.

During the pandemic, he acquired a lathe — a rotating machine for shaping wood and other materials — that had belonged to his wife’s grandfather. Hooper hadn’t done any lathing since junior high shop class and wanted to sharpen his skills.

“I’m largely self-taught on the lathe, and so having a project of this size was just really good repetitive learning,” he says.

MIKE DEAL / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS

Gillian Roy has been impressed with Jason Hooper’s commitment to the cause.

In particular, making Woodies is useful in getting a handle on the skew chisel, which helps to smooth wood.

“But it’s extremely difficult to get started with,” Hooper says. “This was just like 40 projects, doing the exact same motions, the exact same movement. It just seemed like a great way to learn how to use that chisel and how to use it effectively.”

Hooper has found the repetition soothing, as well.

“There is definitely something a little bit meditative about it, which is great. I mean, the lathe is a dangerous piece of equipment. It’s spinning at thousands of RPMs, depending on how fast you have it going, so you really want to be present with it,” he says.

Initially, it took Hooper a whole day to make one Woody. Now, he can crank out four in an afternoon. And because these Woodies are handmade, they are all slightly different.

“That is also a part of the learning process, getting them to be uniform,” Hooper says. “I guess there’s ways to make them uniform; you could build a jig and do it, but I’m not doing that. I’m just doing it all by hand and measurement. It’s really interesting how difficult it is to make them uniform.”

But their lack of uniformity is actually a plus, as far as SERC is concerned: penises aren’t uniform, either.

Hooper is also looking at sourcing different shades of wood; most of the wood he’s been using is elm scrap from Urban Lumber, which mills elms that have been removed by the city. Elm is pretty pale, though, and both Hooper and SERC are interested in having the Woodies be as diverse as possible.

Roy has been impressed with Hooper’s commitment to the cause.

“And he’s volunteering his time to do this for us,” she says, “which is incredible.”

“It’s a great opportunity, and I’m glad that it came my way,” Hooper says. “And it’s nice that SERC is just around the corner. I just throw my bag of dicks over my shoulder and walk up the street.”

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Jen ZorattiColumnist

Jen Zoratti is a Winnipeg Free Press columnist and author of the newsletter, NEXT, a weekly look towards a post-pandemic future.

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